Friday, June 27, 2008

Firefly Butts

"oooo!!! you just said BUTT!", I can hear Christian now (followed by re-use of the b-u-tt word until my "THAT'S ENOUGH." provoked his mischevious "yes ma'm").

We caught fireflies tonight.
Though, I usually call them lightning bugs and actually only one poor guy won't be going home to his little firefly family this evening. The rest managed quick and dark escapes. 'Ole slow poke' is being poked and proded by two curious kids in a disposable plastic container with some holes punched out of the lid. I wonder if he'll survive his night... if so, tomorrow night is Christian's turn for the living nightlight. Belle won out for this evening's honors.

I've been reading about these little critters and low and behold, after an evening swim, there they were, blinking through the bushes...

He stood there a long time turning the jar. Inside, a single lightning bug fluttered off the sides of the glass. Every five or six seconds, he'd light his lantern. Unc turned the jar in his hand. "Scientists say that these things evolved this way over millions of years." He shook his head. "That's a bunch of bunk. I don't think an animal can just all-of-a-sudden decide it wants to make light grow out its butt. What kind of nonsense is that? Animals don't make light." He pointed to the stars." God does that. I don't why or how, but I'm pretty sure it's not chance. It's not some haphazard thing he does in his spare time."

He looked at me, and his expression changed from one of wonder. He held up the jar. "This is not chance, neither are the stars."

I was hurting inside, and the streaks shining on my face didn't scratch the surface at telling how much.

He tapped me gently in the chest. "And neither are you. So, if your mind is telling you that God slipped up and might have made one giant mistake when it comes to you, you remember the firefly's butt."

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


Once again, I'm blogging due to peer pressure... ah hmm... I mean "inspiration." ;)

But, truthfully this one has been milling around for a while now, and perks up as relevant often. .
Starting with the verse:

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion.
It cannot be shaken; it remains forever.
Psalm 126:1
"The Hebrew word for "trust" in verse 1 is "batach," defined as being "confident, secure, sure."

Insecurity, lack of "batach," has caused me some serious misery.
B. Moore agrees,
"Insecurity has remained one of my most consistent challenges, and ...I'm convinced its epidemic in our deceived culture... You would be surprised to know how many people who seem to have it all together are chronically insecure... I don't think victory over insecurity will ever come to me automatically. God and I dialogue about it consistently, and He alone has proved strong enough to quell my insecurity..."

I'll pause there.
My precious friend, Kate, was married on Saturday. In the days and months prior to her tender nuptials, the "faithful four" and more gathered together for showers and some much needed hangout time. (clarity: "faithful four" was a self-given title to four friends who attended EVERY church event offered, as wee ones up to seniors in high school, due to choice and/or lack there of.) Somewhere during our continuous catching-up chatter, I or someone remarked, "I like us... I like the 'grown-up' version of us." We went on to discuss what we felt our biggie flaw(s) was during our childhood/teenage years and what we felt was the major root of our issue(s). Bottom-line, well you guessed it - insecurity. Each manifested that lack of security in different self-destructive behaviors, some less-severe and/or consequential than others, but painful conditions nonetheless. So why different?? What was the swinging factor? Each of these childhood treasures, had childhood faith, which the Lord in His mercy transformed into adult faith-walking belief. And in that belief, we met security, and our moldy selves, began to smell like some fragrant fruit. I still stink from time to time... to time to time to time... :), but praise the Lord, I'm not going to be ashamed to say that there is victory in my life, and in the lives of my friends.
B. Moore adds on to that,
"We can grow secure in the favor God has shown us, but God's favor and His person are not synonymous. ...Mountain-like security only comes from trusting God, not what He's done for us or given us, however glorious and eternal those things may be."

While fruitful, our lives have been far from "peachy." We've lost precious ones, dealt with depression, eating disorders & weight issues, financial struggle, divorce, loneliness, anxiety, promiscuity, doubt, jealousy, manipulation, low self-worth, and more... With the exception of divorce, I'm not sure any of these can be assigned to just one of us. In less than ten years, the Lord has woven with His sovereignty a weighty plan, in spite of our self-breeding flaws and then drew us to security...

ahhh it's like... well, like having been stuck at the bottom of a pool, perhaps looking for something as futile, as - i dunno - a tiny earring, and then someone jerking you up off the bottom, handing you more than you'd ever searched for, all the while filling your lungs with freshness, life-saving freshness. I can breathe in the security of my ROCK... my mountain, my Mt. Zion.

Let me leave you with this pic. I cannot tell you how precious this lady was at one of Belle's t-ball games. She talks of her blessings, walks across the street to watch her great-grandchildren play ball, and when she doesn't have a great view, she just might take a seat like this.

Quite the picture of security.
May we all perch ourselves surely, at ripe ole ages, wherever we go, with that same joy, for there is a mountain over the horizon, and His Word's daily beat beneath our flesh.
He is loyal to us. Hard to sop that one up, but let's sit, and be and know.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

one more tonight for nat

Okay, I have more to say, and I better cause, odds are it's going to be a few days before I'm able to hop back on and say anymore. (hence the title, inspiration via text from Natalie today)

First of all THANK YOU. Big time thank you for all of my fun friends' good ideas. Ellen, we just had a paper bag puppet show. Listen, before we left the house (7:30 AM), I had markers and brown paper bags and said we'd have a puppet show tonight. So, it was 8 PM after the Wal-Mart run, I'd been putting off for as long as I could, but was finally sent when the last essential pushed me over the edge - sorry - so I did a combo Rachel idea and set a timer for 15 mins. Belle lined up stuffed animals on the couch and the 3 of us did a puppet show for the animals. It was pretty much wonderful, and I have no idea why we haven't created any paper bag puppets at home before. Our cast included baby shark, played by Christian, baby butterfly, voiced by the puppeteer, Belle, and featured mama shark & mama butterfly, puppeted by yours truly. Our audience gave us a roaring applause and "vibrating, annoying giggly toy pig" thought it was hilarious.

You guys are wonderful. I'm looking forward to shaving cream in the shower (praying that one doesn't end in stitches), making silly putty, simon says in the bathroom or while waiting in line at a register!, I'm scared of the outdoor food fight, but am going to go for it anyways, and OH we halfway do a scavenger hunt, but it was a clean up thing -- but I called it a scavenger hunt and passed out bags.
"Pick up 10 red things" and then I helped them put them where they belonged. Belle bought in. Christian was wise to the underlying clean up theme. I'll try again, just for fun.

Speaking of Christian, I'll close with his "prayer #1" tonight. I'm sure I won't get this word for word, but it is definitely worth a try.
"Dear God, thank you for all of the wonderful things you made... in this world. You are powerful and everyone loves you... well... except for ROBBERS, and um, God I just thank you. Amen."

Yes, thank you, Lord, for amazing friends and for children who say it like no other.



"Where it comes from is open to argument. Some dictionaries prefer to say
cautiously “origin unknown” but others consider it combines split with a
fanciful elaboration of lick. The latter turned up at about the same date in
expressions we still have: at a great lick or at full lick, also meaning to move
fast. This might have something to do with an animal persuaded to go fast by
means of a “lick” from a whip, a figurative use of the standard sense that’s
also the source of lick for giving somebody a beating. Another form around in US
dialect in the nineteenth century was lick it, as in “he went as fast as he
could lick it” and some writers think that lick it was the source of lickety,
though the dates of recording of the various forms suggest otherwise.

Split is just an intensifying word that happens to have formed a satisfying
combination, perhaps because splitting implied a violent separation. If things
had turned out differently, we might now be saying lickety-click instead, which
is just as meaningless. In settling on split, however, Americans provided a
springboard for split in the sense of leaving or departing, recorded from the

Well friends, I truly hope you enjoyed your ELA/history lesson for today.

Today I felt a bit like a horse persuaded to go fast due to licks (beatings) on my behind. Ever feel like that!? Like, if I didn't have to... I wouldn't. But I have to, and I have to really hard and really fast - go places and be ALL there these days, and I think it's the Lord's mercy that He calls. I'd miss out sooooo, if He didn't call, or send, and say obediance is what I require, cause I'm thinkin that I'm in no mood to do that Lord, likety-split. In fact, I'd rather umm... I dunno - sit. Perhaps sit and be inaffective, and then later feel a tad guilty over my sitting... and then choose to repeat my lathargic option.

Listen. We all need rest. I know that. And the Lord grants sleep to those He loves - says so in Psalms, so He's not calling us or whipping us to death. No, He's calling us to life, and in serving and feeling slap worn out. And in moving lickety-split, when HE says so...

we live.

fyi: This is not my Jeep Liberty - waaaayyyy too clean and... nice, but I have a dirty version with kid crumbs in the backseat and a melted crayon stain in the front. I use lots of fuel and go lots of places and - um, return to beginning and try to pull together the connection. Oh and was sick and tired of having no pictures on my blog. Thanks, google images.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

hello nightime feeders

well... now that just narrowed down my reading population, but seriously, I know that Natalie and Katie my well-endowed, baby-lovin girls are the ones who might actually check this, like say, in a couple of hours. (Adair, I'm pretty sure is on a daytime feeding schedule only) So, sweet Katie and Nat. this one is for you!
I have no words of wisdom... or of reflection, really. Only to say that I feel suppa tired, but good. I think I should have majored in "coaching cheerleading" cause it's a full-time job. I think I now officially have like 4 full-time jobs. My life is currently being broken down into 10-min intervals, of do this and then stop and then this and then stop. Once again, I KNOW that I'm helpless alone, and yet as the machine is churning - that ole pride starts slipping back in, the snake that it is. I think, "whoa, look at me go. I'm coaching, teaching, parenting, cleaning, watering my plants, dishes are DONE, laundry folded - almost.. " blaaaaayh :) spit out old pride. Cause I'm just Kelly Bollman, wearing some skin and helpless.
I'm singing the same song,1800th verse, but I want everyone who reads this to know that I am continually inspired by my sweet friends who love the Lord. And reading your words of wisdom or seeing your pictures or just a short phone call, are like honey, only better - sweet to the taste, and a perspective check for the soul.

Okay, now I'm going to shamelessly ask for some comments. Name what you would want your mom to do with you if you were 4 & 6... going for at-home 15 min. kind of activities. I'd like to think up some more fresh ones. Maybe it was the most awesome thing your mom/dad/babysitter did with you. I need to be all the more intentional with my time with these two, so help a momma out!

Friday, June 6, 2008


wow. I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. One week ago today, I and one of my most favorite people, Jennifer Rayfield, accepted the positions as cheerleading coaches at my alma mater. It has been a whirlwind of a week and I'm about to go to bed at 9:30 on a Friday night. I truly cannot wait! (for bed, and what's to come).
I'll keep the story short, for sleep's sake:
basically Jennifer and I were praying about the same thing; the Lord led us in the same direction... both knew we had no time to coach cheerleading at Cheraw High... both have two kids... both teach art, full-time... both thought it would be "crazy" to take on such a thing...

and we both said yes.

This will be a disaster without the Lord. We are fully dependent upon Him. We both want to be like Him. We want in some way to come close to pouring out our lives, and that our sweet Lord will be glorified in the process, as He teaches us to get out of the way.

When I got on my face and said, "God... (scared to voice what He already knew), do you want me to do this (coaching that is)?"
I felt this clear response within me: "Serve."
"Really Lord????"

Okay. So here we go. I'm now the Varsity head coach for competitive cheer at Cheraw High School. More to come on how the Lord is going to consistently move - the evidence is already in the works. Well, I guess that goes without saying.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Ephesians 3:20 for Abel

For those of you who have been following this story and haven't gotten a recent update, there's reason for added prayer this morning. My precious friends Katie and Josh are loving on, praying/warring for their son, Joshua Able. I had the absolute privelege to meet this little boy (that I'm already head over heels for) yesterday. Things were looking super stable and progress while slow, was progress.

I received an update text a couple of hours ago:

Basically he took a dive sometime late this morning. Last I heard, they were doing an echo on his heart and putting in a trec. They made Josh & Katie leave for a little while.

The Lord has big things for this boy, who I can't wait to see as a man, and say... "I remember when... " I don't know what exactly to pray for Katie and Josh but I know their already huge faith is growing down deep, and boy oh boy will they have a story to tell Abel.

Thank you praying friends.