feeling like "almost there," turned into "never."

thinking we'd made it almost to the top. to see not so much the bottom, but an implausible crag, cut at an insurmountable smooth angle. no crevice to take hold of.
i can't.

on my face - reality of dryer thumping and playground-sandy floor

the REAL DEAL God speaks
my heart hears

"I AM the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob"
beating heart, beating faster!
"OH MY WORD!, I say, breathlessly - out loud."
"Yep, that's me."
my air spits out in a giggle... "yes, yes that is YOU."

"I WILL BRING YOU WHERE I AM BRINGING YOU."

real quick

-Today, "Boy (the name) I'm praying for" (see below) didn't get to open his present because he was horrible for his teachers. Praying that tomorrow we get to play with the football my kids and I got for him!
-My son put rocks in the sink disposal. then we put macaroni down the drain. squishy macaroni noodles and rocks. gross. Rocks!? really. He's 5. not 2... and rocks???
aaah
-Leigh and Gray are adopting!!! How awesome. See here and here for more details.
Love them! These 2 have provided countless hours of free babysitting and LOVE for my children and me... for no reason. guess cause they know Jesus, and you do weird stuff like that when you do.
- Had a work conversation and another person talk about why they don't think it's important to go to church.
...could do a whole other post about my response...
but being a part of a growing church is flat out biblical. Satan loves nothing more for us to be isolated. So yeah, if you start with a Bible study being your "church"... then I'm thinking you're doing something great - not wrong. There's no card carry'in... letter of intention blah blah blah in the Bible. JUST incredibly intentional meeting together for the sake of JESUS' name, not so much coffee. Although, i do love the "Java stop" on the second floor of my church - just sayin.
Keepin this quick - so I won't go further. But it's about heart, relationship with Christ, seeking, following, obeying. WHO CARES WHAT THE PEOPLES SAY. done with that topic for now.
-My sweet sweet babies making good choices. "Mommy, I spilled the milk, and we thought about not telling you, but we decided to tell the truth." PRAISE YOU LORD! seriously, deception was at the heart of me from day 1, and was a mega struggle even into adulthood. (for the record: I would now classify it under semi-mega struggle amongst my other flaws)
-oh and ... bummer, got to work today, good hair day, feelin kinda cocky, and midday saw a full-length mirror for the first time and realized my pants were too short for my boots. ugh - now that's just straight up earth for you. oh me.
-G'nite!

Get a name

Go get a name. Pray hard for that name. Percieve the HUGE-O miracle God can do in that life and the amazing human He created for PURPOSE.
Do it.

Long Middle School in Chee-RAW or Chu-Rawh or Shur-raw... South Carolina is where I spend my days - well, my mondays-fridays. The color-coded halls are filled with ghetto-poverty kids, redneck kids, lower-middle class black & white kids, middle-class black and white kids, with a sprinkling of other minorities thrown in and maybe like one rich kid - maybe. My heart and mind have been pouring over a couple names and faces and the snipit of life stories of a few.

Wow. Desperate for love and attention. DESPERATE. Soooo many have no Dad. Many have no mom or dad to speak of. One kid wears the same thing nearly daily. He's forever on the ISS list. Nobody thinks he's going to make it in this life. Another is amazingly talented, but supported by no one at home. Constantly smells of cigarette smoke and states, "i don't really care" about most things.

I love them! I love that they want to be loved and my heart aches to not be able to take them all home and love them enough to discipline them... and then give them that hug. To say "YOU are amazing." God made you soooo wonderfully made!

So many 11, 12, 13, & 14 yr-olds are deemed "pieces of _____" ... by the very ones that should adore them as jewels in their crowns. Daily, there are lives in YOUR town that are NEVER told that they matter. These kids act like punks. They tend to steal, lie, run their mouths... but deep down, there lies a heart, an aching heart, a God-formed heart, knit together in their moma's womb. And there are some torn-up hearts protected by some straight-up harsh looking armor.

I'm asking that you match up a name or face with prayer. My challenge for myself and for you is to find out about a life. Invest your prayer and even physical time in one name... one soul. Man, oh man, Jesus died for them.... and they don't even get what that means or looks like in reality.
Ask a guidance counselor or teacher you know. Say, "give me a name." I want to pray for life change in someone's life. Then daily, please, daily, press your face on your floor and cry out for that precious child.

Today I watched this while putting in grades during my planning period. Stephen Furtick's (guest Pastor) "Perception Principle" kind of reminds me of some Pythagorean Theorum or something in title alone. But whew! - the reality of what he stated, man!, ESPECIALLY the last 15 mins. (IF YOU CAN'T WATCH IT ALL FAST FORWARD TO 51:00) or so had me in tears and can equal LIFE CHANGE. To sum it up (and unfortunately not do it justice): if a kid or adult or "a whosoever" as John 3:16 would say, is consistantly told that they are a thug, or hopeless, or destined for failure - they're going to act like that.
But God says about all of his little "whosoevers" that they are created by Him and for Him. All things were. (Col. 1:16) HE says nothing is to be rejected. In 1 Tim. 4:4 (please read within the chapter's context, I know that He was specifically referring to food and other legalistic limitations men might set... BUT) God's word says NOTHING (NO ONE - NOT ONE!) is to be rejected. Friends, let's not reject the unattractive middle school guy or girl. They NEED someone to pray! And to claim and speak Ecclesiastes 3:11 in love and Jesus' name for their sweet names.

Get a name.
I love you!