my eyes itch... does that count?

Wow... they're really red too. What in the world? (see Katie's blog for clarification)

So Ruby and I were talking about the blog thing and I mentioned how I felt the need to clairify, though it probably isn't all that needed. Hopefully this will come in the form of encouragement.

In my brief blogging stint, I plugged into the thought of many that this forum would most honorably be used as a place of fun-lovin commentary, words of encouragement, updates on fam, etc. You know, a "build-ya-up" or "put-a-smile-on-your-face" kinda place. I deliberately choose not to hop on and post during the times when I feel absolutely cranky, exhausted, angry, annoyed, etc... cause I mean, I don't want to give off the WACKO impression and I desire for my words to honor our Lord - sincerely.
That being said, i'm going to get honest, but truly not honest enough. Take what I say, and know that the truth is probably far worse.
Without my Jesus, I suck, and not because I have good reason. (Nope, I'm pretty sure these allergies don't give me any validation)
When my face isn't upon Him. When I don't remain IN HIM. I am gross.
I want stuff. I get ill with my children and they hear it. I feel cranky as all get out, where the sound of whistling, which should bring delight, grates on my nerves. I try to fill the "lonely hole." (doesn't exist within my Jesus... outside of Him, it's gaping.) Chocolate is a fav hole-filler of mine & peanut butter, as is blog surfin... ironic, I know. When it's just me, I do not honor my mother or father. I doubt. I feel stinkin sorry for myself. I feel inadequate - not enough stuff, not pretty enough, not in shape enough, not talented enough - for cryin out loud, we could go all day. I feel... well itchy, a sensation that doesn't really go away when we in and of ourselves try to scratch it. Not physically (usually!), but that annoyed and out of wack feeling that has no real self-reliant fix.

And, I'm sure there's someone, maybe just one of you that might nod your sweet head, and say... me too. I'm sucky apart from my Lord.

But then there's the grand news.
With Him, In Him, through Him... Him in Me, not because of me and certainly apart from me... I become Holy, solely because He is HOLY. That is a refining miracle that I fall short of understanding.

When I attempt to share what seems like wisdom-given or what the Lord is graciously achieving in spite of myself, please know, that my goal is to humbly communicate, because I stink and He is GOOD.
And I know that hooked up to THE VINE... I am beautiful, I am set apart, I am loved beyond comprehension. I am saved, and I am destined for plans filled with HOPE and my Jesus.

Glory, Lord. Remove me. Glory.