I have no business blogging right now. I'm putting off packing. All I want to be doing is sleeping. But I need to share - at least a tidbit of the POWER of which I've been an unlikely witness.
Unlikely - I mean... I'm so stinkin selfish, so prone to wander - that sounds too "pretty." Heck, I'm prone to grossness. This woman is scary without Jesus. I am insecure as all getout. And, well, that could be 4 descriptive sentences followed by a litany of other true statements which would frame me accurately.
haha - I just had a monster truck image flash through my mind. OKAY, you KNOW that you have lived in rural SC for possibly too long, when that comes through. But seriously, my LORD enables monster truck smashing on my stack... no, my heaping piles of raw, achy wounded, "frames." (for the unnecessary record: I have never attended such an event. Maybe I should).
In case you think I've lost it - I'll continue and stop soon. Be not alarmed.
So now that that is straight. Let me tell you what my God, has been showing me.
I told Him, "Lord, I'll take it! I'll take plan A, plan B, or plan C for my life. As long as it is YOUR plan, I'll take it! I want YOU." Of course, if a plan Q or something comes along, that will be quite fine as well. Here I am, 26. We don't have time to sit and wish or boowoo over the might have beens. Geez, let's do this thing! Let's dare to say, OKAY, that sounds amazing... most likely trembling as we say it, but meaning it. I do not know much beyond my intentions tomorrow. I have a hazy glimpse beyond that. But, I have CONFIDENCE. I declare and claim that I AM PERSUADED THAT HE IS ABLE. It's gonna be good. He said so.
Yesterday, I saw my baby battle... battle with her own sin, and the darkness which can grip us in ways that make us want to scream and cry, even as saved. But I saw my LORD take that battle and teach my child faith - teach her how to ask for forgiveness when every part of her soul desired to stay in sin. Her faith will be taught upon this foundation.
Have you ever been there?
I have. I've wanted to remain in sin.
I saw my children delight in "pretending" to put on the full armor of God. It's fun to play dress-up, especially when it comes to spiritual warfare getups. I mean, how cool is that helmet of Salvation, and how heavy is that belt of truth, and the sharpness of the sword of the spirit, of the Word. Can you hear the clashing?
I don't have enough money this month. For once, I prayed, and took God up on real trust and faith, rather than running solely to chocolate and that sick feeling that credit might be my only solution. Got a call; God is sending it my way. PRAISE HIM.
This is it! Let's do this. Let's look beyond the blanket of classrooms, offices, loads of laundry, of paved roads, and gas stations, of dinners, and see the fight. See the soul in the "face."
I know, I know, I know... trust me I know. There are so many fun, now, pleasures of this world. But sweet one - it's not our home. Please, do not get too comfy. Get excited in this.
"One thing is impossible with God: it is impossible to believe Him in vain."
Look up Habakkuk 3:2. Pray it. Please pray for me right now. As bold as I sound, the second my face fails to look upward, I am as brittle as some thin glass figurine and sooooo likely to fall. Pray that I'll "keep my chin up;" not for optimism, but for a glimpse heavenward to my God, whom I commit myself. I cannot risk looking away.
I'll borrow this from Beth Moore to conclude; it's too powerful not to re-read or share:
"The God to whom you commit yourself and everything that concerns you is huge. He is the omnipotent Maker of heaven and earth. He is the One who sees. He is the One who knows. He is the One who acts on behalf of His children. He is the Mighty Warrior. He is the compassionate Father. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is the coming King. He is love. He is light. He is good. He is right. He is your soul's delight. He is ... whatever you need. He alone is wise. In Him alone life makes sense, and apart from Him all is chaos."
Amen!
Prayer
4 years ago
2 comments:
I had a dream with you in it last night. I woke up worried about you, believe it or not. I haven't dreamed about old friends in a long time. I was in Bennettsville with my parents over the weekend and I guess I always think about Cheraw friends when I'm there. I read your blog faithfully, but just came across this entry. I am praying for you, Kelly. It's wonderful to cling to the fact that God's grace is sufficient...that His power is made perfect in weakness. I'm glad that He's coming through for you faithfully. Take care.
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